Thursday, April 23, 2009

obsessed & the man's still

The MAN's still

$86 for TemarilP
allergy medicine for my dog
Warning on the label says:
“KEEP OUT REACH OF CHILDREN
FOR VETERINARY USE ONLY.”
as if I'd ever...

after all these years
THE MAN's still
Hasslin’ ME!


Obsessed

at the core
none of us admit obsession
Speaking as a man, I can say
males do not change their obsessions
just for chuckles

My buddy Oscar
has this thing about the speed of sound
because in high school physics he learned
that a human skull is soft like a melon
but at the speed of sound
a human skull can make
glass transition from an amorphous solid
to a million shards
Do you think Oscar on the freeway driving
will surrender his fascination with Mach 1
just for chuckles?
No way.

Are women different?
Yes, or so , they say.
I asked Ms. Georgia,
that woman talking in the corner.
Yeah, her in the pink blouse
and a smooth as whiskey voice
of an femme fatale circa 1980

Just look at her
see the corkscrewy way she writhes
in her chair.
she's not going to answer my question
because she's lives in a jungle world
she's hooked on magical realism
in private moments she yearns
to be devoured by a jaguar-man
in a kinky candle-lit dream.
Will Ms. Georgia give up her fantasy
just for chuckles?
I hope not, at least not, until after this weekend

Any barstool philosopher will tell you
through obsession we know ourselves
the streets are full of passersby
like ants foraging in a forest
following their inner personal desires
like following a trail of pheromones
Do you see them changing paths
Just for chuckles?
Do you hear
anyone laughing?

Finally there's me lurking
at the edge of that action
a surreptitious presence
I like to watch, that's my "thing"
do you think I'll stop

just for chuckles?
I don't think so.



Capitano Tedeschi



30



Obsessed, The MAN's still, April 23, 2009 copyright 2009 Jamie Jacks

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The sound from thunder's mouth

I am a creature of the dominant culture
my body and my mind are dedicated to
escaping poverty and securing a middle class life

Lucky or not I did discover
I was the holy fool, living 'life-lies'
My 'life-truths' some old telephone number
I vaguely remembered--no matter

It was the bright blue day
I got that back pain while playing golf
It was then, that which I misremembered,
caused me to be howling on the grass
Like a gut shot dog
self-conscious, self-begetting
generating lies, rationalizing explanations
until language lost its meaning
and brand names of my stuff failed to give comfort

That day my walk with my boutique God
Was hollower than a chocolate Easter bunny
The sweet taste of Buddha like serenity
was turned to ashes on my tongue
by the sound from thunder's mouth

As I surveyed the false walls
of my cutout world
I asked what now?

An answer came

Now what.

Capitano Tedeschi

The sound from thunder's mouth April 22, 2009
copyright 2009 Jamie Jacks

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Books

Several new books have caught my eye recently.

The first book that caught my eye was by James Frey, whose memoir, A Million Little Pieces, was exposed as a work of fiction now has a fiction novel out called Bright Shiny Morning. The brief review in the May 26, 2008, edition of the New Yorker dismissed it as "banal." The Publisher's Weekly review by Sarah Nelson described it as "un-put-downable." The user comments on Amazon.com were also favorable. I did pick it up, but was able to put it down. There, I just saved you $26.95. If you go to Amazon.com you could get it for $17.96. If you go to the library you can check it out for free. If you do, I urge you to complain lustily regarding wasting taxpayers $$$$ on this guy's book. Or don't check it out at all, life's too short.

Moving from banal fiction to horrifying reality, books about the financial crisis are coming out fast and furious now. I have good and bad news. You want the bad? We're screwed. The good news is you don't know how screwed you are.

If you want to find out, read High Wire by Peter Gosselin. Hire wire documents how the social safety net that came out of the Great Depression has been eroded by so-called reforms that freed corporations to do whatever they want and left average Americans one job-loss, one pay check, one major illness, or one natural disaster away from poverty and despair. Think you have health insurance, you pay the premiums right? Don't get sick, because your insurance company will probably be able to find a way not to pay. Think you have home owners or earthquake insurance? Your insurance company can find away to wiggle out of that as well. AIG has demonstrated, you can make a lot of money collecting premiums by underwriting insurance if you don't intend to pay off the policy holders if they file a claim. We live in a YOYO world. YOYO stands for You're On Your Own.

This can't be you say, we live in America! USA #1!!!. Well, right now, maybe. But probably not for much longer. Bad Money by former Republican operative and historian Kevin Phillips describes how America's economic shift from manufacturing to finance and from major Superpower to Global Empire has failed. In the process it has destroyed the country's economy and damaged its global economic power. We have the greatest military but thanks our dependence on foreign investors to fund our national debts, we'll have to hold a garage sale before we invade the next country who's dictator tried to kill George W. Bush's dad. We are one of those countries that had an empire on which the sun never set, but in the words of historian S.T. Bindoff, "it was also an empire on which the sun never set for too long." That may not be so bad, the world is full of ex-empires. Most of them seem to be doing okay.

Third scary book is one I haven't read yet. It's Roger Lowenstein's While America Aged: How Pension Debt Ruined General Motors, Stopped the Subways, Bankrupted San Diego, and Loom as the Next Financial Crisis. I read the introduction and decided I didn't want to have a nervous breakdown. So I will probably give that one a pass. But I did link to the NY Times review.

So now it's time as comedian W. C. Fields once said, to "Grab the bull by the tail and face the situation." Ciao.

Capitano Tedeschi

30

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Samba, Patience

Samba,

On this beach,
sand in a shaken gourd will sing
its memory of the sea
Chinga, chinga, chinga, chinga

There is the put, put, put
of the two stroke motor
of the fishing boat as
it struggles into the harbor

The ting, ting, ting of
the lids covering two kettles
one of boiling rice
one of simmering beans

Can this be Paradise?
I sip a warm Pepsi
on a day that is hotter
than an iron skillet
full of frying plantains

In this part of the world
I speak my language funny
so strangers and
we’re all strange here
can’t understand me
as if I have a mouth full
Of caramel candy and shellfish,
scallops maybe

I nearly sneeze warm Pepsi when
that young woman floats by
wearing only string and three
triangles made from the
skin of an anaconda
and a necklace of gold
from a madman’s jungle

The fishermen whistle as
she saunters by
they have no nets that can catch her
she leaves no footprints
on the hot, white sand
I have to satisfy my hunger
with plantains, Pepsi, beans, and rice


Patience

It is the big thick book
you bring while you wait
to see a doctor or
any frickin’ one
EXCEPT the rent-a-cop
in the Emergency Room
don’t tell me to take it
one day at a time

It is the place that I run from to
scream drunk with rage
at the son who won’t take
his seizure medication
or the sister who insists
on cleaning the kitchen
instead of resting after chemo
don’t tell me to
let go and let God

It is that scarce resource that
I never had an abundance of
and now as the number of my
days grows smaller,
and shackles of my sufferings
are grow heaver and longer
It is what I need the most
because you people--

don’t tell me easy does it
It’s never Easy
and I am running out
of time

Capitano Tedeschi

30

copyright 2009 Jamie Jacks

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Constructing sexuality or exploring identity online

Online interactions are a screen.
When engaged, remember the
health risks of gasoline handling.
Exposure to benzene can cause leukemia.
Exposure to lust or love can be worse.
Don’t think that for a moment that
practicing this form of harm reduction is an
alternative treatment for these addictions.
In this environment you think you hide
behind a metaphoric screen.
Beware it is literally an open window.


At first I thought,
“This seems like magic and that
Merlin’s calling.”
With the wave of a wand,
the virtual world offered me
a safer environment
than the real world.
In the real world
all things are dangerous,
especially dogs, cats, kids and yoga.

I thought I was clever.
I thought I could get my way,
if I mastered the exchange of information by
revising my narratives and
offering a plethora of competing explanations.
I forgot that carnality brought down Camelot

It’s futile.
The response to my resistance
came from trained sedentary males
who hovered over the horizon
jiggling their joysticks
one finger always ready to fire
the aptly named Hellfire missile.

Remember that as a human being,
The possibility of cells, tissues, organs,
self esteem, heart, and soul
being forcibly removed or destroyed
without notice or pemission
is startling and unnerving.


Online interactions are a screen
When using them to construct sexuality or explore identity
Remember
Exposure to benzene can cause leukemia
Exposure to lust or love can be worse

Capitano Tedeschi

30

copyright 2009 Jamie Jacks

Friday, April 10, 2009

POETS day (Push Off Early Tomorrow's Saturday)

Ducatis

We talk motorcycles.
He rides. I dream, ever
the safe voyeur.

New Love

Here I go again
Naked feet
Shattered glass
Tip toe through disaster
Clean up mess


Adriatic Dream

Friday afternoon
Outside sunshine
Air gives a hint of moisture
from a distant sea
Springtime in Bakersfield

Inside, I work at looking busy.
My fan drones like a jet engine.
Its air flows across
my right shoulder as if
it were an aluminum wing
that has no lift.

Eyes closed
Café in Trieste
Gelato in Split
Dinner in Dubrovnik

This day ends
That day comes no closer

Capitano Tedeschi

30

copyright 2009 Jamie Jacks

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Talk radio not arm of Republican Party

I was dismayed to see Inga Bark’s letter of April 6, 2009, appear in the online edition of The Bakersfield Californian. I can understand why her letter was published, she has a program on local talk radio.

Her achievement, my in opinion, is equal to a parrot quoting scripture or a seal dancing to Michael Jackson music. While entertaining no one believes that a parrot understands the Bible or that a seal is a natural break dancer. There is no mystery here. The parrot will squawk for crackers; the seal will dance for fish. Ms. Barks is paid to do a show on local talk radio.

This is dismaying, because as demonstrated in her letter, Ms. Barks has a very poor grasp of facts. For example, she claims President Obama defines people with $250,000 as rich. This claim is false.

A visit to http://www.barackobama.com/taxes/ will show that the President promised that “Middle class families will see their taxes cut – and no family making less than $250,000 will see their taxes increase.” If your family’s income was LESS than $20,833.33 a month you may receive a small tax cut. Not receiving the cut does not define your family as “rich.”

There is too little space to debunk all the errors in her letter. Ms. Barks does have a bully pulpit to spout her political views. I hope that in the future that her views will be arguments grounded in fact and not mere parroting of paranoid, right-wing rumors. I will never be one of her fans. I worked with Ms. Barks prior to her stint as a talk radio entertainer. I prefer to spend my time watching a dancing seal.


Capitano Tedeschi



30

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Odysseus of Interlibrary Loan

Odysseus of Interlibrary Loan

The wheels of the book cart squeak, like the oarlocks of my trireme
now sunk and rotting at the bottom of a Sicilian sea
14 hours by jet and three millennia away

Long ago, I snuck from the belly of that wooden horse
and laid waste to Priam’s city
I danced as the flames danced, pure as fire

The Trojan women screamed
I felt the pride of the conqueror and was the cleverest of Kings
not so clever after all, it seems, for I did vex the Gods

I am now cursed to wander these library stacks
that arise from a dull green carpet, that on odd days remind me of
some torpid stretch of the Middle Sea.

Shipwrecked, I labor as a slave for dull and petty masters
I search for an article from the Journal of Comparative Literature
and having found the article

I push my squeaky cart to the next task
dreaming still of the oaken deck, the cool breeze of the sea
14 hours by jet and three millennia away




Otra Vez, Sin amor, con dolor


The hummingbird hovers near the plastic flower,
hoping to sip nectar.
I called you in a weak moment
hoping to hear you say yes.

The hummingbird knows disappointment
but knows it will sip nectar soon.
For me alas,
it’s not that easy

Capitano Tedeschi

30

copyright 2009 Jamie Jacks

Monday, April 6, 2009

Senryu

April grass is green
She frowns, a wintery face
Icy rage no spring


Caress her body
Facebook friend--my lover
Social net works?

CNBC SCREAMS that
Obama means COMMUNISM
Grunt! Squeal! Pigs!

Track shoes now
Put in nylon bag, today
Race is over

Such is sorrow
Eating cold french fries
What might have been

Capitano Tedeschi

30

copyright 2009 Jamie Jacks

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Wind, Sand, Kisses

Wind

The blackbird hops across
the spring grass.
In his mad eyes all that is not food seems vile

The branch of an un-watered
cherry tree has one struggling green leaf
and rustles in the spring breeze
like the bones of an ancient man.

She walks her dogs
on aching, arthritic feet,
Toes painted red
ever since she was a girl.
"My husband used to do this thing,"
she says,
"the dogs still miss him"
The old terrier growls and protects her
as best he can.

Sand

There is sand lying in the banks of the Kern River
That was ground from sandstone mountains
Long extinct

Sand that once silted over the bodies
Of sharks with jaws 4 feet in diameter
that fed on seals the size of horses.

This sand knew spring-time floods,
cold flowing water,
and the songs of children gathering
Tule reeds to make baskets that carried water
used to leach the poison
from fresh ground acorns.

But now a pesky, windy wind
hovers over it and draws it into a dance
that can been seen as a dust devil.
This dance is dance
that means there is no needed rain.


Kisses

Today is good.
No groaning as I do yoga.
No scabs on the leg,
which a blood clot turned into
a 20 pound chub of Safeway hamburger.

No cracking of shoulder bones
bound by the cement of arthritis.
No spasms in fingers
where the MS first appeared.

Stretching done,
I lie on the floor attempting meditation.
My dog slowly kisses these wounded parts
of my body as if she can smell the sickness.

As if she knows that kisses can not cure
but that love makes their pain a little less.
Would that I could be so certain.

Capitano Tedeschi

30

copyright 2009 Jamie Jacks

Friday, April 3, 2009

Tax cut, Tax Refund what to do?

I was in a bit of a quandry today folks. I am the recipient of some government largess. Got my tax cut that is part of the Obama Stimulus package, an extra $40 a month more or less (less).
I know that my new BFF Barack Obama wants me to go out and spend it, buy a new car, a house (It's amazing what $40 can get you these days). Uncle Sam expects every one to do their duty, shop, shop, shop. But me, I more inclined to do one of three things.

Before I state my choices, I must disclaim, that I am totally unqualified to give financial advice and the the following should not be construed as financial advice. So having covered my fanny, I can now return to telling you what my plans for my money and forthcoming Federal Tax refund.

The tax refund is easy, I am going to bank it and use it as the basis for foreign travel. Where? Trieste, Istanbul, or Buenos Aires are all places I dream to visit. But the tax cut, well the three choices are dump it into my 401k or make a regular payment to my emergency fund, or make an investment in myself, weekly yoga classes or Ballroom dance lessons.

Increasing my contributions to my 401k is tempting because by leveraging my tax cut by contributing to a tax-deferred savings seems like a good idea. The good thing about a depression is that means that stocks are really cheap. Unfortunately, I think stocks are really cheap and are going to stay cheap for a long time. Bill Gross, the managing partner of Pimco in his in his April 2009 Investment Outlook states

"Investors should therefore favor stable income as opposed to speculative growth or the subordinate liability structures of most private market balance sheets. "

Or as may Grandpa Roby would say, "It's better to earn interest than pay interest." If Gross is right, then stocks are not going to offer a return that justify their risk. I am still contributing to my 401k, but any new windfalls will go into more stable investments, i.e. savings. Please remember I am only speaking for myself and not giving anyone financial advice.

If I were paying interest on credit card debt, I would be wise to use to use tax cut and my refund to pay down debt. Paying down debt is another way of leveraging the money I received from my tax cut. Because debt is like an added tax on your earnings. But my credit card debt is usually paid in full each month, so that is not a problem.

Since I have no credit card debt, then the case for contributing more to savings is compelling. First, most Americans don't have an adequate emergency fund. Many are just one paycheck away from financial disaster. Illness, divorce or job loss can destroy our financial lives. Even a $500 emergency fund. MSN Money writer M. P. Dunleavey was shocked when she discovered

"Many Americans feel their paychecks are already too stretched for them to save. According to a February 2007 telephone survey by the Consumer Federation of America, only 40% of adults have a separate account for emergency expenses....

"But this shocked me: Of those with incomes of $75,000 or more, only 58% said they had a rainy day fund. That means even 42% of America's wealthier citizens don't have funds set aside for when trouble strikes.

"And, as get-out-of-debt guru Dave Ramsey, author of "The Total Money Makeover,' once told me, 'You need to build up a rainy day fund, because -- guess what? It's gonna rain.'"

If I do decide to use my stimulus tax cut to build up my rainy day fund, what's the best way to save my $40 a month windfall? According to Ronald T. Wilcox in his book Whatever Happened to Thrift, the best way is to have the money withdrawn from my paycheck before my ever see it,

'When you decide that making regular additions to savings from your income makes sense, arrange to have the money automatically withdrawn from your paycheck or other payments you systematically receive" (p. 127).

I've read for years that this is the best way to save. I do it for my 401k, but I've refused to have money automatically put into savings. Now you can understand why I am not qualified to give financial advice.

The third option is to invest in myself. Self-investment for most people means going to school to get an advanced degree or some other kind of career training. I've done that and thanks to this economy, I'm not planning on changing jobs any time soon. An extra $40 dollars a month would be a good down payment for yoga classes or Tango lessons. One of my personal goals is to do more yoga, it is a beneficial form of spiritual and physical practice. As for Tango lessons, well one of my dreams is to do the Tango in Buenos Aires, take a Tango tour. My tax refund will help to pay for the trip and Tango lessons will just make the journey that much more enjoyable.

How did I solve my quandry? This evening after work, I went over to the credit union and arranged for them to take $100 a month and put into a 2-year certificate of deposit. So $40 from the government and $60 from me. As to investing on myself yoga and tango lessons. I still plan to do that. I've been tracking my expenses and find that so far this year I've spent on average $323 a month on dining out. So I'll pack my lunch and cook dinner at home more often and if I'm lucky, I have plenty of money for my emergency fund, yoga, tango and travel.

Unfortunately, the president will have to count on somebody else to spend the nation out of the recession. But the number of people willing to continue to indulge in conspicous and economically meaningful consumption may be decreasing. According to Ronald Wilcox,

"Economic stimulus packages that speak of short-term fixes have little hope of success. American households are in a far more serious debt position than households of the 20’s. If you hand Americans money right now, they will save it. They will ignore politicians who exhort them to spend it. The American consumer cannot pull us out of this downturn, at least not yet. Over the next months or even years, we will experience a rapid decline in household debt and an increase in savings. It will take time, and savings, to resurrect the economy."

I support President Obama, but I agree with Ronald Wilcox. I'm going to ignore the politicians and save my $40 a month tax cut. In the long run, I know I will have peace mind because if I have a financial catastrophe, I have money to recover from it. I may even help the American eoconomy in the long term. I may be wrong, I will most probably be wrong, but more saving is what I plan to do and keep doing.

Capitano Tedeschi

30