Flying down to Buenos Aires

Tonight was my last tango class of 2009 with Barbara Bates at Greenacres Community Center in Bakersfield. It was a wonderful class. I was pleased becaused when I started I didn't know if I could even dance for a half an hour because I have two left feet and two arthritic knees.

But I've done well. The tango is a difficult dance to learn, because it has so many intricate moves. I have been taking lessons since July and the main thing I've learned is I have a lot more work to do.

I have come a long way. During early lessons, it was all I could do to try to remember the initial steps and try not to step on my partner's toes. Tonight, I was dancing, sometimes moving gracefully to the music, sometimes not. But I am glad I stuck with and didn't give up. I also know that when I return from my trip, I will continue to take lesson and probably take ballroom classes as well.

Soon I leave for Buenos Aires. The flights to and from my destination will be 13-16 hours. So I'm not looking forward to flying all that way. But if I want to go to Argentina, a long flight is necessary. I'll be by myself in a strange city, I will have the help of a local tour guide and travel agent. I've studies travel guides and read up on my destination, but I don't have a very clear idea of what I want to do. I'll get a guided tour of the city and a ticket to one tango show. My Hotel is in the Retiro neighborhood of Buenos Aires, north of the city center. I plan to eat steak, and buy some tango shoes while I'm in Argentina. Other than that, I don't know.

All that remains is to pack for my trip, leave my dog Bella with a friend, take a cab to the Airport Bus of Bakersfield and then get on the plane.

Capitano Tedeschi

30

My garage door has been sabotaged

Friends,

I know it sounds silly, but it always starts with the small things. This morning, I tried to open my garage door and it WOULDN'T WORK! I and by I, I mean we America need to get my garage door fixed, because the longer my garage door is inoperable the greater the danger that my country, our country will cease to be FREE!

"Why is that important?" you ask. First of all if you move the "F" from FREE and put it at the end of the word, you get REEF!. Reef. Think about it for a moment. The American Ship of State is sailing towards a REEF because secret agents from the Kenyan Province of Hawaii, have found a way to sabatoge my garage door. Why? you ask am I warning you about my garage door. "Capitano, the fate of the United States doesn't hinge on your malfunctioning garage door. It's no big thing."

No big thing? Re-arrange the letters of "No big thing" and you get the phrase "NOTHING GIB." Gib, Gib, that sounds familiar. I know a Robert Gibbs. Robert Gibbs. Who does he work for? No. No. It can't be. Yes, it's true. Robert Gibbs works for the White House!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that's not NOTHING!

So you see friends, things--things have unforseen consequences. Some housefrau in Post World War I Vienna, refuses to buy a hand painted postcards from a wounded German WWI veteran named Adolf, the next thing you know the Wiemar Republic falls due to hyperinflation and before you can say "Gott im Himmel," I can't get my car out of my garage. If I can't get my car out of my garage, I can't buy 50-caliber ammunition for my sniper rifle and cat food. No freedom-loving American should be without ammunition or cat food.

I'M sorry...I'm all choked up. You see I love my country. Not only do I love my country, I need someone to fix my garage door. So if you know of anyone who can fix my garage door, please let me know. I need someone who'll show up, on time would be nice. The ability to actually fix a garage door would be miraculous.

So please send any recommendations to me. With your help, I can get my garage door fixed and together we can steer the American Ship of State away from the REEF and keep us FREE. God bless you and God bless our country!

Capitano Tedeschi

30

My garage door has been sabotaged copyright Dec. 8, 2009 by Jamie Jacks