Just a few remarks Solitary Argonaut,

Just a few remarks on madness in 21st Century America


I was there, as giant step by giant step
we became mired in folly.
We are all blemished, yet
no one will be punished or stoned.

You can’t just peek into Pandora’s box
madness makes risk taking inevitable
thinking in terms of MUST!!!
and not MISTAKE

We did this to ourselves
while we raced the storm
Failing to practice moral deliberation
a perverse torture not to be indulged in

After excessive self-injury
Where are we?
Where should we go from here?
For our great wound is there a cure?

We are not better men nor
have we made a better world
No one wants apology or remorse
from death row inmates

Solitary Argonaut,

In high school,
when I imagined
the evolutionary calculus
of my future life

I saw myself as
a solitary Argonaut,
with the cruel eyes
of a Spanish Conquistador
a Pizzarro or a Pirate Prince
sailing across the turbulent
fluid of the Seven Seas

Ever avoiding apology or remorse
performing behavioral mind change
through brawls and
repeated display of inappropriate
practices and beliefs
my big business
pushing for the breakthrough
ever in the future search
perpetually justified bending the rules

That imagined future
turned out different.
My experience has been
collaspes, suffering, and madness
howling like a gut-shot dog
and praying to my momma.

In the dysphoria of personal reflection.
I find no great humor
in painful self disclosure
like the fact this emperor
always winds up needing
new clothes

Capitano Tedeschi

30

Just a few remarks, A solitary argonaut copyright Oct. 29, 2009 by Jamie Jacks

Matters Medical

I have spent much of late September and most of October dealing with medical issues. Today, I am home sick with what may be some version of the flu. I don't know if it is the seasonal or the swine flu. I was lucky that when I felt myself feeling feverish I asked my doctor for a perscription for Tamiflu. Tamiflu does not lessen the flu per se, but it does amelioarate some of the symptons. I while I have not felt great, I haven't been devasted by the flu.

Since the H1N1 swine flu is very serious, I have made an effort to get a flu shot. There will be a seasonal flu vaccination on Friday at the knowledge factory. For the swine flu, I have contacted both my doctor and the Kern County Dept. of Public Health asking for vaccinations. I was told that there is no vaccine available in the County, but some should be available by the end of the month.

Friday, Oct. 23rd, I had my fourth MRI. My neurologists wants make sure that I still have a brain. I am kinda curious myself. This was my fourth MRI. I consider myself somewhat claustrophobic. The first imaging experience I requested a tranquilizer. The upside of being knocked out was that I was really mellow during the procedure. The downside of this was that one of my friends from church had to stay at doctor's office while was undergoing the procedure.

The next three MRIs have been done without anesthetic. The second was something of a triumph, I was able to meditate and make up songs to the electronic shrieking of the imaging machine. My second one without anesthesia was an ordeal. During that M.R.I. while I was essentially lashed to the table and instructed not to swallow, fidget or fart, I was able to meditate on a variety of things. And during the last 12 minutes when it was particularly grueling, I was able to recite Chapter 5 "How it works" and the Prayer of St. Francis. When it was over, I was able to joyfully say in no uncertain terms "Next time I'm taking the Valium." Hopefully though that won't be for another 2 or 3 years.

But when the time came to do another one, I was worried. I wasn't going to do the valium because, I didn't want spend the rest of the day doing nothing while waiting for the drug to wear off. But I hadn't been meditating or doing yoga and I was worried that I might not be able to lie still for the 45 minutes it would take to do the procedure.

There was no need to worry, this MRI was the easiest of all of them. The strapped my head into place, gave me an emergency button, I closed my eyes and they moved me into the bowel of the machine. I was happy to realize that once I closed my eyes, I moved into the infinite darkness that lies just behind my optic organs. It felt like a cathedral with a vaulted roof, a safe yet vast space and I felt that I could stay in that space as long as I kept my eyes closed and found ways to occupy my time.

I was lucky in two ways. The first bit of luck was musical. Thanks to blogger Andrew Sullivan, I've become acquainted with the music of he Pet Shop Boys, the English dance music duo. Their music is ideal play in one's head while one has to listen to the industrial screaming, screechings, poundings and whirring of the MRI machine. So I had a sound track and videos from the Pet Shop Boys (It's a sin and Pandemonium) going on in my head. The other bit of luck was that I would doze off during the procedure. I would fall asleep, sorta wake up, making sure to keep my eyes shut, try to make songs from the noise of the machine and then doze off again. Thanks to closed eyes, 80s dance music and sleepiness, time passed quickly and I was able to almost enjoy the process.

So sick with the flu, I turn to this blog. I talk about the upcoming flu season, which may be very severe. Get a flu shot, if you feel yourself getting sick, you might try to use Tamiflu. My latest MRI was enjoyable thanks to some nice bits of serendipity, the Pet Shop Boys and the fact that the procedure was scheduled during my usual nap time.

Il Capitano tours Bakersfield's newest Target

A new Target Department store opened in Bakersfield's newest retail development site, the River Walk. The store opened on Oct. 11. Today I decided to visit the new store.

When I visited, it was a typical Saturday morning in Bakersfield. The weather was sunny, the parking lot was full and all sorts of people were gleefully entering the new Target. I was reminded about of a story by fantasy writer Fritz Leiber, Bazaar of the Bizarre. In that story, Leiber talks about a race of alien invaders called "the Devourers." Leiber describes them thus,"The Devourers are the most accomplished merchants in all the many universes-so accomplished they sell only trash." Once the Devourers set up shop on a new planet, they "sell and sell!-sell trash and take good money and even finer things in exchange."

Was Bakersfield newest Target, a front for an invasion of the Devourers? No, not really. The store is new, looks very and has all the usual products that you find in all the other Targets. This one's grocery section has been expanded to include fresh fruits, vegetables and meats, so it can take some customers away from Albertson's and Vons. It is filled with all the stuff that any red-blooded American consumer would want to buy. All the goods are reasonably priced, of average quality and made practically everywhere but the United States.

That was my attitude or prejudice as I walked through the new Target. In one instance, I saw three generations of women, mother, daughter and grandmother, pushing a shopping cart through the girls clothing section. The mother seemed to have the determined look of veteran bargain hunter, searching for the latest deal on Hannah Montana tops, shorts and matching sandals. The daughter and grandmother followed along as best they could also looking for deals. Judging from attitude of that family, not all of the shop-til-you-drop American consumers have cut up their credit cards or have been plunged into bankruptcy.

But the American consumer's day of being the engine of driving the world economy are probably over. The recent financial crash has made it clear that not only is the American consumer broke, but the money he uses to be cheap Asian manufactures is worth less and less every day. I have no doubt that Target, like Leiber's Devourers will soon be seeking new worlds to invade, by opening stores in places like Bangalore, India or Cheng Du, China.

It's easy to be smug and rail against consumerism. Fritz Leiber was doing that in 1963 when Bazaar of the Bizarre was first published. It also appears that a new Super Wal-Mart will also open in Bakersfield in the near future. But rest assure gentled reader, as a good union man, I will not set foot in the new Super Wal-Mart.

Capitano Tedeschi

30

Flying down to Buenos Aires Part III

Went to tango class again tonight. Part of me didn't want to go. I had missed last week and I hadn't really practiced any dance steps during the past two weeks. I know that if you want to become good at something you have to practice it. But knowing that I should do it and getting myself to do it are two different things.

But once I got to the community center none of that mattered. The instructor didn't care whether I had practiced or not. All that mattered was learning the steps and moving gracefully to the music. Tonight, I was so happy to be there that I had a really great attitude, I would try anything and even though the steps were difficult, I kept telling myself that I could do them. So I had a lot of fun tonight and I am getting a better at doing the Tango.

The time when I start my journey is getting closer. Just two months to go. There'll be the ordeal of a 18 hour plane ride and the challenge of being a solitary traveller in a busy foreign metropolis. So I have a lot of work to do. But tonight, I held on to my dream of dancing the tango in Buenos Aires. I am not looking forward to the ordeal of airports, long lines and security hassles. But I am looking forward to going to a Milonga and watching the people dance.

Capitano Tedeschi

30

Health Care Reform Clears Baucus Committee

Today, the Senate Finance Committee passed a health care reform bill crafted by Montana Senator Max Baucus. The vote was almost along party line with Democratic Senators voting for the bill and all the Republicans except Maine's Olympia Snow voting against it.

According to the New York Times, the Baucus bill will now be reconciled with a more liberal bill passed by the Senate's Health Education Labor and Pensions (HELP) Committee. Health care reform then must pass the Senate and then reconciled with any bills passed by the House of Representatives.

The battle for health care reform has been long and hard. The debate has at times been loud, angry and sometimes bizzarre. Still, health care reform moves forward. Once the reform bill is signed by the Senate, it can be modified and changed to meet the changing needs of the nation. I hope that the Health Care Reform bill will be like The Civil Rights Act of 1964. The Civil Rights Act has been amended several times since it was first became law.

It is too early to predict the future of any health care reform bill passed by Congress in the forth coming year. There is still a lot of work to be done on the bill, and there is still a lot of work that we as citizens must do to make sure that when its passed, it will be the start of true health care reform. It is important to remember that health care is an important social problem, but there are other more difficult problems that must be dealt with as well, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, an energy bill, entitlement reform and restoring the Republic to a sound financial footing by reduing the federal deficit.

If you are a supporter of health care reform, today can be a day of celebration, the Baucus Bill has made it out of the Senate Finance Committee. It is not yet law. More civic work must be done.

Capitano Tedeschi

30

President Obama (& America) win the Nobel Prize

I was humbled and proud when I heard the announcement that the Nobel Prize Committee had awarded this year's Nobel Peace Prize to President Obama.

It was a surprise. While Obama's rhetoric during the campaign and at times when he has been president has soared, his list of accomplishments 9 months into his presidency have been small. It is not easy trying to change the nature and direction of a country like a America.

The reasons for Obama's lack of progress in realizing many of his campaign promises are numerous and complicated. He ordered the closing of the Guantanamo Bay detention center, but that has become mired in difficulties regarding the legal status of many of the inmates and the reluctance of Americans and other countries to house or allow the return of many of those inmates. He has done nothing to end the war in Iraq, and has been content to follow the Status of Forces agreement signed by the Bush Administration. On the domestic front the president proposal's for reform of health care and of the financial services industry have met fierce and determined opposition from what is left of the Republican Party and intense lobbying from insurance companies and the financial services industry.

In accepting the award the President has shown that while he is grateful for the award it may appear that the award is premature. Critics on both the right and the left have said that the President's effort to change America have borne little fruit.

The critcs have a valid point. But there is an important counter argument. The American people elected the president and we the people ( or most of us anyway) want to change America's course. After 30 years of Reaganism and eight years of the Cheney/Bush junta much work needs to be done to return the country to its founding proposition that all men are created equal and that all are entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

I look at the Peace Prize as an encouragement. The Nobel Committee is acknowledging our effort to change and encouraging to continue on this long difficult path. Obama and his supporters have talked the talk regarding changing America, and some in the world find such talk refreshing after the last eight years of arrogance, stupidity and folly on both the world and domestic stage. But it is up to us to continue working for change, to end the failed wars in Iraq and sadly Afghanistan, reduce our consumption of fossil fuels and our emmission of greenhouse gases, and finally create an America whose economy and political system is sustainable and innovative for many decades to come. The damage done by the narcissistic ideology of Reaganism and of the Cheney/Bush administration will not be corrected in a few months, it will take years.

Though it may take many years to complete America's metamorphosis, it is work that is worth doing. The sooner we start, the sooner we'll be done. The award of the Peace Prize to President Obama can be considered a sign the world appreciates our desire to change. It is up to us to fulfill the promise that we made to ourselves when we elected President Obama in November of 2008. Yes we can!