Joe the Plumber Quits the Republican Party

Joe the Plumber Quits the Republican Party

Surrealism shows us that
The ability to create humor is related to
The psychic power of stupidity
That vital driver of free-market ideology.
After the traumatic brain injury
of the November 2008 election
the mages’ voices from
your bizarre inner world
whispered a heresy
that the mantra
of HAND GUNS & TAX CUTS!
Could not dispel

The commie/facist liberals who were
a danger to American purity
more horrible than dancing
or two Alaskan teenagers having hot sex
In a rec room in Wasilla
The Great Satan, the "Democrat" Party
Were running the government of Washington
And doing a pretty good job

Horror, sex and violence!
It was then you realized that your
new-found meal ticket
the former party of Lincoln
was pushing the wrong rhetorical buttons:
and had become as relevant
as the study of Medieval Byzantine coins
Conservative hyperbole had less value
than Byzantine Hyperpyron

Racked by fevers caused by perspirable humours
Inside the hothouse of conservative celebrity
You with your childish pronouncements
about American government
that Ronald Reagan
would not have used as a sound bite
had your Gethsemane, your run from
Rush Limbaugh moment

As you sat in a room
In that Outside the Washington Beltway motel
You realized that the Gravy Train
of Conservative hate
was running out of fetid air.
Now was time the for you to skip
before it ran off the rails or
you got that letter from the hated IRS
saying you owed more back taxes

Fear not, like you
Vladimir Lenin conceded that he had
contentious spirit,
and found comfort, as we find comfort,
in the Cossack-led massacre
That ancient Aztec kings performed a sort of divination
by means of laughter
before drinking the heart juice of their jestors

And you the uncrowned clown prince
the farcical face of Reagan conservatism
like a comedian in a John McCain skit
On Saturday Night Live
Could do nothing but make another
childish gesture and bite
That hand that gave you
Fame, $100K book deal, and
a chance to admire Sarah Palin’s "assets"
Say good bye to the Big Time Joe.

Capitano Tedeschi

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Joe the Plumber Quits the Republican Party copyright May 7, 2009 by Jamie Jacks